


a disappointing absence of ribbons

by thepessimisticasshole



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU, Response, aro/ace baz, aromantic baz, asexual baz, bald simon, cosmetologist baz, footballer simon, he cuts his hair, they're best friends and roommates, this fic was born of salt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 06:05:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6272782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepessimisticasshole/pseuds/thepessimisticasshole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>baz is studying cosmetology, simon’s shaved his head, and the mysterious disappearing hair ties aren’t so mysterious anymore.</p><p>or: baz is aro/ace, simon doesn’t have his hair, they’re best friends, and simon’s still an idiot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a disappointing absence of ribbons

the dorm room is completely silent. baz’s sprawled out on his bed, reading, simon’s off doing whatever, and-

there’s several loud snipping noises in quick succession, a dry slide of something slipping down something, and baz’s heart leaps into his throat.

“damn,” says simon conversationally, and baz gets up to investigate. the bathroom door’s wide open. baz peeks carefully around the frame- and freezes.

simon’s standing in the mirror, most of his hair in the sink in front of him. baz gapes.

“did you just-”

“how do you feel about shaving heads?” simon asks, like he hasn’t cut the vast majority of his actual hair off. baz opens and closes his mouth weakly for moment.

“you just cut off your hair.”

“yep,” says simon, brushing off his hands. “listen, i think i can get most of the top, but the back might be-”

“simon, you _actual_ _idiot_ , why did you cut off your hair?”

he blinks at him. “it was getting too long.”

“i was going to braid it tonight! i had a good one!”

“see,” he says, pointing, “that’s the problem. you’re able to practice your hair braiding techniques on my hair and you were going to start breaking out the ribbons and i don’t think my masculinity would have survived that.”

baz sneers. “screw your masculinity, it was _nice_.”

“well, it’s gone now. help me shave it.”

he shuffles over reluctantly, tries not to cringe too hard as his pretty golden curls fall away. “you know how i can’t get crushes?”

“yeah?”

“i think i had a crush on your hair.”

simon pulls back to look at him. “that’s… that’s kind of a weird thing to say.”

baz shrugs bitterly. “whatever, it’s gone now.”

simon grins at him, waggles his eyebrows. “now you have to teach me how to braid your hair.”

“no i don’t. how does that makes sense to you?”

“if you’re not braiding my hair-”

“than i’ll braid my own hair,” he sniffs.

“no, you won’t.”

“no,” baz admits. he hates braiding his own hair- it’s fine and thin and slippery and trying anything intricate usually takes about a container of bobby pins. simon’s hair was perfect. simon’s hair was _ideal_. “i have to break out the hair dummy.”

simon frowns like he hadn’t thought of that. “wait, really? i thought you could just take a break, teach me how to do the france thing-”

“french braid,” says baz longsufferingly.

“-or whatever. the hair dummy’s creepy.”

"your fault,” he sings under his breath. he hates the dummy too, but there’s no choice.

“why’d i have to room with the guy in cosmetology,” bitches simon quietly, and baz smacks his ear.

“shut up, you love me. why’d i have to room with the idiot football player?”

“touche,” he says reluctantly. baz steps away.

“done. idiot.”

“your words wound me,” says simon absently, examining himself in the mirror. “my head looks small.”

“you don’t need much space for a brain as tiny as yours,” mutters baz under his breath. simon shrugs, unconcerned.

“at least i’m not going to be stealing your hair ties. i can even give you back my stash.”

“you stashed my hair ties?”

simon gives him a ‘well, duh’ look and yeah, that does explain quite a bit.

“dragon.”

“nerd. i won’t tell you where they are if you bring down the hair dummy.”

“but i have to-”

“nope,” says simon. “also, we’re broke, so you can’t buy more.”

“i have at least a week left,” says baz, who goes through hair ties like most people go through cheap noodles. “and i have a braid i want to try out. i was planning on using you-”

“is that all i am to you?” simon asks dramatically, sweeping out an arm carefully in their tiny bathroom. “a head of hair to practice hair styles on?”

“yes,” baz tells him. “now get out, so i can mourn your hair in peace.”

“so weird,” simon mutters, but closes the door respectfully when he leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was born because someone said that baz wouldn't be baz if he wasn't in love with simon.
> 
> that kind of annoyed me, because baz is definitely more than the man he's in love with, so- aro/ace au was born! (they also said simon wouldn't be simon without his hair, so... that's why he cuts it honestly)
> 
> so yes this fic is slightly salty


End file.
